Your Happiness First
by Wendy Crescent
Summary: She wanted her safety, she wanted her happiness, she wanted to stay by her side. But was that possible? KonoSetsu, no spoilers. I need to specify English isn't my home language so I apologize for the mistakes
1. Morning thoughts

**Chapter 1 : Morning thoughts**

_Knock, knock._  
Hearing that sound, the young lady got up and welcomed her friend, along with a smile.

''Setsuna-chan! I was ready to go'', she said. ''Wanna eat someting?''  
"No, thanks Ojou-sama. I wouldn't want you to be late because of me.''

A grin came out of sudden on Konoka's face.

"Don't call me Ojou-sama! We are friends. Friends."  
"But, I, I… sorry."

Konoka offered her a gently smile.

"Let's go!" She said.  
"But, isn't it a little bit too early?"

Konoka glanced at the clock before laughing a bit.

"Ha… ha yes! Then I guess we can have a walk before courses start, right?"

She runned outside the room, leaving a wondering Setsuna behind.

_"Walking… walking with Ojou-sama? Is it right? Even though we're fri…friends, can I allow that? Do I have the right to become closer to her? I've already crossed my lines and…"_

"Secchan, come on!"

Setsuna had to follow her, but was still wondering about what was right and wrong.

"We can sit there!" Konoka said happily.  
"I… okay."

They took place next to a line of cherry blossoms. Konoka was whistling cheerfully, enjoying the cool wind slipping on her face, and the smell of the cherry blossoms. Spring was coming, and she was just happy about it. Setsuna was watching this show silently. Her heart was full of a feeling she could not describe.

_"Having such a feeling around her isn't right. I've gotta keep my objectivity in order to protect her against any danger. It's my main goal and I cannot forget it, even though… even though I feel so happy right now…"_

Konoka's head lied on her shoulder.

"Sometimes, I think we have a wonderful school."

The kendoka sighed with relief.

_"No… More than her safety, I'd like her to be happy…"_

"Ojou-sama?" she asked.  
"Yup, Secchan?"  
"Are you happy? I mean… right now, right here, with me…"

Konoka stared at her with a serious glance. Then, out of the blue, she smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Of course I am, Secchan!"


	2. Love versus friendship

**Chapter 2 : Love versus Friendship**

****Konoka came back to her room after a hard day of courses. Homework was waiting for her in her bag and she couldn't ignore it. She was trying to pick her books out of it when Kamo suddenly came out. Konoka let a short scream slip out of her mouth, before putting her hand on her chest and breathe loudly.**  
**

"Kamo-kun ! You scared me!"  
"Hehe, sorry miss but I gotta hide!"  
"Is there something happening" asked the young lady, with panic in her voice.  
"Asuna-san is looking for me. Obviously, she's still upset because of Takahata-dono... aaah, heartache..."  
"Kamo-kun... Having fun over people suffering isn't right..."

Kamo, exasperated, sighed and took a cigarette to his mouth.

"That's ermines' work, make people realize about their feelings."  
"But Asuna-san is aware of her feelings towards Takahata-sensei..."

Kamo didn't reply. In fact, teasing people was giving him a feeling of superiority, since he was caught inside an ermine's body.  
Suddenly, an idea came through his mind.

"So... how about Setsuna-san?''

Konoka's head leaned to her right, while her innocent look expressed her incomprehension.

"Setsuna-san? What's wrong with her?"  
"You two seem to go on pretty well... hehe... yeah, definitely. It's too great to be just friendship..."  
"Secchan is an old friend, I've known her for a long time. She's really precious to me, she said naturally.  
"Ho? Really? You think of her as a friend? Nothing more?"  
"What are you talking about, Kamo-kun?"

The ermine suddenly came closer to her, some sort of spark in his eyes.

"About love! Love, love! That strong feeling that makes people burn and make us travel the world of dreams! Love!"  
"Y-You think... Sec...Secchan and I?"  
"It's obvious! Definitely! Something's going on between you two! Friendship! Pff, I didn't know you were so naive, miss!"

The picture of Setsuna, red cheeks, protecting her, suddenly came to the young lady's mind. She felt her heart beating faster.

_"Wh-What...? Setsuna-san...?"_

Konoka felt her hands trembling. Not enough to be serious, but enough to notice.

_"She's been on my side for so much time... always protecting me, flattering me, helping me through everything, everyday... but only as a friend, right? She's my friend, right? I myself told it to her, this morning! Right? Right?"_

"Secchan is my friend..." she said slowly, putting some space between each words.  
"Kay, kay... but wait, you're gonna turn sixteen soon, aren't you? You're gonna have to marry soon, if I remember well?"

Konoka could barely move anymore. A drop of sweat was beading on her forehead.

"I wonder how Setsuna-san will take it..." said the rodent. "Ohoh, I'm afraid she might not take it well..."  
"No... No, she will definitely take it well..."  
"You sure? My ermines' senses don't think so, miss! Setsuna-san always tend to erase herself and suffer, but who knows what's happening in her mind?  
"She's my friend..."  
"Don't you feel like betraying her? Miss, you're gonna marry some unknown guy, whereas she's been protecting you for years!  
"I-I.."

The door opened wide on an angry Asuna.

"Here you are, Kamo-kun!"

She took the ermine inside her hands, torturing him with angst, while Konoka was still thinking.

_"Secchan... protect... marriage... feelings... betraying... love... danger... friendship..."  
_  
Out of sudden, she fell on the floor. Kamo sighed.

"Maybe that was too much..."


	3. In your head, in your heart

**Chapter 3 : In your head, in your heart…**

She was running. Her thin but sinewy legs were exploited at their best. Despite these athletics efforts, no sound was made.

_"Ojou-sama..."_

For the second time, the door opened wide. Setsuna rushed to Konoka. Negi, Asuna and Camo were also there, but she didn't care about them. Only Konoka's well being mattered in that moment.

"Ojou-sama, wake up!"

No response from the fainted body.

"What happened? she asked the other persons."

They all shrugged. The kendoka's jaw shrank. Anxiety, guilt and angst were having a fight inside her.

"Ko... Konoka-san..." she begged.

She bended down to her protected, her hair caressing the magician's face.

"Please... wake up..."

_"Please... Please, I'm begging you... I made a mistake, I didn't take care enough of you and I regret, but please, Konoka, answer me, wake up, please !"_

Konoka groaned a bit, before she slowly opened her eyes, meeting Setsuna's.

"Secchan..."

"Sssh... I'm here, everything's alright."

Konoka closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them out of sudden.

"Setsuna-san?"

She suddenly stood up. Suddenly. Her forehead violently hit her guardian's.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, Secchan, I... sorry!"

Setsuna smiled tenderly and put her hand on Konoka's forehead.

"Does it hurt?"

Konoka suddenly took an expression that made her more than cute to Setsuna's eyes. Her cheeks were slighty tinted in pink, while her mouth was half-opened, as she was surprised. Her eyes were lost inside Setsuna's.  
They almost forgot they weren't alone.

"I... no, it's okay, sorry..." she answered.

Her cheeks became even more colored.

_"She's so cute... so adorable..." _Setsuna thought.

Konoka got up, to everyone's surprise.

"You shouldn't get up, Ojou-sama!" Setsuna yelled, always so protective.  
"Hmph. Why do you call me Ojou-sama again?"  
"Sorry."

Konoka was sulking.

_"Her face... she's sooo cute... Aaaah, no, it's wrong, I'm becoming perverted!"_

Forgetting her thoughts, Setsuna put her hand on Konoka's forearm, making sure she wouldn't fall.

"Setsuna ? Can I... ask you something?"  
"Sure. What can I do?"  
"Can we get out for a while?"

Konoka briefly noticed Kamo's intrigued face, but she decided to ignore it.

"I-I... would be glad..."

She also noticed Kamo. But she followed Konoka outside, wondering what she wanted.

_"Maybe she wants to tell me something? And if it's related to her fainting? Maybe she has a problem? But why not telling everyone? Is it embarrassing? Or maybe she just didn't want to tell Negi-sensei? No no, in that case she would have asked _me _to get out with her! Aaaaah, it drives me crazy!"_

Without her noticing, they arrived under the World Tree. The night was falling, campus' lights were on, while the cool hair was making the leafs move. They were standing together, next to each other, watching the view closely.

"It's beautiful..." Setsuna said.

Konoka nodded before looking at Setsuna.

"Hey... it's not the festival, so... there's no magic around the World Tree, right?"

Setsuna also looked at her, shocked.

"That's right, but why such a que..."  
"I'm sorry, Setsuna."

The pitch in her voice made Setsuna think she was going to continue.

"I..."

Silence.

"I think I might be falling in love with you..."


	4. Come and go

**Chapter 4**** : Come and go**

She was running. Her thin but sinewy legs were exploited at their best. Her athletic efforts were making an astonishing sound, but the campus being mostly empty, no one noticed.

_"Setsuna-san ! I'm sorry !"_

Konoka was still running, leaving Setsuna far behind her. She stopped a long time later, so far away that no light was there anymore.

"Setsuna..."

A tear beaded on her pink cheek.

_"Why ? I felt it... For a while, I felt it, I felt those feelings weren't normal... but I kept trying to convince myself that it was only friendship, nothing more... and now I hurt you... and I hurt myself... everything's my fault. I'm sorry, Setsuna..."_

_She sat on the floor, knees against her chest, her arms around them.  
_

_"At least, I could have kept my feelings for myself... as you always do... I could have shut up, and let our friendship bring me that happiness... but no, I ruined everything. Now you're gonna hate me, and nothing will be as it was."_

Her head reposed against the tree behind her.

"Konoka-san?"

Obviously, that sound startled her.

"Setsuna ? Setsuna ?"  
"Why did you run away? I..."  
"No ! No, don't say anything !"

They stayed a few seconds in front of each other, both panicked, before Konoka ran away again.

"Don't follow me!"

She couldn't have seen what Setsuna was feeling because of the darkness, but she knew she didn't run after her.

"_Don't follow me... I don't want you to force yourself... I don't want to..."_

Tears were now crawling on her cheeks without any effort.

_"I know it disgusts you... you've always been so attached to traditions... a girl liking another girl, it only can be... disgusting..."_

She slowed down. Her forces were almost exhausted and she did not wish to use magic.

_"Why did I ruin everything?"_

She thought about Setsuna again. All these moments they spent together. She liked being next to her so much. Watch a film together, eat candy floss together, walk in the street together... together... just being together made her feel happy.

_"I know you'll tell me you wanna protect me anyway... I know you have to, right? But I also know you won't enjoy it as much as you used to..."_

She stopped. She didn't know where she actually was.

_"I wish I could stay with you a little big longer..."_

She looked up at the moon. It was shining.

"I know it's not possible anymore..."


	5. Listen to me

**Chapter 5**** : Listen to me…**

Setsuna opened the door of her room and came inside. She was alone, alone with her thoughts. She remembered Konoka's sentence.

_I think I might be falling in love with you..._

_"Why? How?"  
_

She crushed her fist and closed her eyes. Konoka, that young lady she was protecting since her early childhood...

_"What have I done so she'd feel that way? Me... I'm nothing more than a half-demon... I'm inferior, no matter how you look at this... How could she... love... me ? I can't even consider it. I don't deserve her. She deserves better than a... freak."_

She headed to her bathroom. She saw her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red, but she didn't remember herself crying.  
She locked the door and let her white wings out.

_"Those white wings... they are the proof I'm not human. They are the proof I don't belong the same world as she does. They are the proof I would never... even... consider... a future with her..."_

She felt her cheeks grow purple while the idea of a relationship with her beloved came through her minde. She shaked her head from right to left.

_"No. I can't have such thoughts. Ojou-sama didn't want me to go after her, I guess she doesn't want to see me anymore. If that's what she wants, I'll keep protecting her at distance, as before."_

She made her wings disappear before getting into pajama and burrowed inside her sweet sheets...

Next morning, she had a hard time waking up. She felt a weight pressed on her. Nevertheless, she forced herself and got up on her feet.

_"I think I'll directly go to the course. Ojou-sama probably doesn't want me to see her this morning, as every mornings..."_

She came back to her bathroom so she would dress up - she had always feared someone could go inside out of the blue. And she was right, because a few seconds after, she heard a voice yelling "Setsuna!". She tried to dress up as soon as she could.

"Setsuna!"

"I'm here" she answered while coming out of the bathroom. "It's unusual, seeing you awake so early. And in fine fettle!"

"Konoka's feeling bad."

A short but heavy silence settled between the two girls.

"Do you know what happened? asked the red-haired.

"Maybe... said the kendoka, confused."

She asked Asuna to sit, but she refused.

"She didn't came back yesterday night," she explained, "so I got worried and I went out with Negi to find her. She was against a tree, crying. Negi had to play the teacher so she would come back to our room. She hasn't said a word till then. So... d'you know what happened?"

Setsuna swallowed hardly, news coming untimely. She put a hand on her forehead, kept herself from crying. She could not tarnish her pride in front of someone, not even Asuna.

"Yesterday... she took me to the... World Tree... she asked me if it was liberating some magic, and... when I said it didn't... she... confessed... and..."

She could not continue because Asuna let a loudly "what?" slip her mouth.

"She confessed? What d'you mean?"

Setsuna took a long, very long breathe, before quoting her Ojou-sama.

" 'I think I might be falling in love with you.' That's what she told me. I would have answered something but she ran away. When I catched her up, she begged me to leave her alone so... I came back home and... heck, I should have known she was feeling bad... I should h..."

Asuna filliped her.

"It's too late to feel guilty. She's feeling bad, but she's alive, so you should talk to her before it's too late, or trust me I will kill you next time we train together."

"I actually feel like she doesn't want me to talk to her..." answered the warrior, insensitive to her apprentice's humor.

"I understand how she feels. After confessing to Takahata-sensei, I started regretting right away. I would have ran away too."

"But why? I don't understand..."

"Ha... Setsuna... You're really bad at love..."

That voice was not coming from Asuna's mouth, but from the ermine hiding in her pocket.

"Kamo-kun?"

"The ermine is gonna save your relationship!"

_"But I thought he had a fight with Asuna... did they forget about it to help Ojou-sama and I?" _wondered Setsuna.

Kamo jumped to Asuna's shoulder and, full of fire, started explaining to Setsuna.

"When you confess, you're worried, you're stressed, you feel your stomach tied! You wonder if you made the right choice, if you were wrong... but, most of all, you wonder if the person you love shares the same feelings, if they'll confess back, or if they'll laugh, if they'll ignore it... it's really hard to find the courage to confess and actually do it! Miss Konoka was already feeling bad before talking to you, I guess she didn't realize what she was doing until she let the words slip."

"But why didn't she wait for an answer? I can understand she was nervous, but... she knows I would never get away from her!"

"Oh, really? But you got away from her when you were a child..."

"Kamo-kun!" Asuna yelled. "Not really the good time!"

"Hem, sorry, sorry. The thing is, she's sure you're gonna hate her. It's easy to guess and understand, no? Yeah, you protect her, but you're still really distant and you don't let yourself come closer to her, sentimentally. And uh, you're a girl. And she's a girl, too. That makes the thing even more complicated for her."

"Konoka-chan..."

Setsuna sat on the ground, her face down.

_"I would never have thought... you would feel such things... the confidence... but also... that fear... why not talking to me?"_

"Hola, hola! Not the time to depress! You gotta talk to her!" Asuna repeated. "If you feel the same thing as her or not, I don't give a crap, but you gotta talk to her, and comfort her! Tell her you won't get away from her because of that!"

"Yes... you're right... I'll go."

She stood up, took her bag and stepped out. She didn't wait for Kamo and Asuna, but she was hearing them getting out too. To tell the truth, she did not care about wherever they were.

_"I'm sorry, Ojou-sama... but we need to talk, whatever it takes... it won't be pleasant for any of us... but it's for your good, Ojou-sama... no, it's for your good, Konocchan..."_

Some students were walking in the corridors too, but no one seemed to notice how troubled Setsuna was.

_"I was so obsessed by your physical safety... I've never tried to know how you were feeling, deep inside your heart... you always smile, you always seem happy... but you're human, you're sensitive... I should have realized before. But don't worry, I'll fix it up."_

While she was heading to Konoka's room, she saw Negi. He was surrounded with students, obviously taking him to his course.

_"If Konoka is still in her room as I expect, we'll be late but we'll be alone. It'll be easier for me to talk to her."_

Shock. Two bodies hitting. And suddenly.

Suddenly.

"Konoka-chan?"

Konoka raised her surprised eyes to Setsuna.

"S-Set...CHAAAAN?"

She pushed her away violently and took her distance as fast and far as possible.

"Konoka-chan, wait!"

"I told you not to follow me!"

_"Why are you so scared? What are you scared of? Don't run away, tell me..."_

She wanted to express herself, but her heart beating too much and her jerky breathing not helping, she just ran, ran, again and again.

_"Why?"_

Everyone was glancing at them. Two girls running one after the each other, in every meaning of the word.

"Konoka-chan! Let me... talk to you!"

"No! I don't want to, I don't want to! I don't want to!"

"But why?"

They arrived in front of the course's door. Konoka rushed inside, closely followed by her protector. They were late, and they were in the middle of attention. Thirty eyes on them. Asuna, who was getting installed, could not dare move.

"Konoka, why?"

The young running away lady tried to hide her surprise - she was indeed surprised Setsuna would insist, even in front of the whole class.

It was the time. Words had to come out. The pain had to fall, the truth had to explode.

"Because... because I don't want you to lie... I don't want you to force yourself... I don't want you to stay by my side because you must... d'you understand? I know you're disgusted, I know you won't ever accept what I am now. I know everything won't be as it was before, because of me. I-I'm so scared you'd get away... The first time, when you stopped talking to me... I was so alone! You were already so precious to my eyes, and I thought I was losing you... and now, now that you're here, I'm losing you again! I don't want you to hate me... I don't want... I don't want you to say it, I don't wanna hear it, I don't wanna know how horrible I am to you, I d-"

"I love you."

Silence. Hubbub. Who cared? She was finally in.

_"Now, I know how you felt... I understand... but I won't run away. For you, I'll stay."_

_V_acillating, she stepped ahead.

"Konocchan... I-I love you... really... I don't want you to run away, okay? Please... don't run away from me..."

Another step.

"I'm honest, so... please... don't be scared..."

Face to face. Both were so fragile, two leafs whose fate depended on the wind, two crystals about to break, two little grain of sand finding they way...

Her two trembling hands (from fear and exaltation) grabbed Konoka's shirt.

"I love you..."

A brief smile emerged on the lady's face. She abruptly came closer to Setsuna's, their lips touched, but she stopped.

"I-I love you... too..."

She kissed her succinctly before retiring.  
Her brain in effervescence, her heart thrilling, Setsuna could not realize.

"I... I..."

Konoka answered with a smile. You could distinguish some tears in the corner of her eye. Her anxiety was vanishing slowly but surely. She melt inside her lover's arms, huddling against her chest. Setsuna closed her embrace on her.

"I have to clarify things... I'll still protect you."

A smile. Then another. Together.


End file.
